Thursday, April 30, 2009

Swine Flu 3 for 1

Tennis Coach: Do we have an odd number?
Tennis Coach 2: Yeah, but I could tell Mike he has swine flu and send him home.
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Gym Employee: Swine flu is the new Twitter!

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Teen girl: Jeremy has swine flu. 
Woman: Jeremy is swine flu!

That Helmet is Hot


Guy in cycling gear to girl
: You got to get a helmet that looks good, so you want to wear it all the time. Everyone likes to look good.

(Overheard by JR at Arabica)

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

GIRL ON HER CELL PHONE IN THE STAIR WELL AT USM

" YOU DID NOT JUST HANG UP. WHY DID YOU HANG UP? NO. YOU SAY GOODYE, AND THEN YOU HANG UP. RIGHT? THATS WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE DO, THEY SAY GOODYE BYE AND THEN THEY HANG UP." THEN SHE HUNG UP.

It's actually a secret code.

Male Deli Employee: Everybody loves BOGO!
Female Deli Employee: I don't even know what that is.
Male Deli Employee: Everybody knows what BOGO is.
Female Deli Employee: Well, I don't.
Male Deli Employee: It's "Buy one get one"!
Female Deli Employee: Seriously? Well I don't even wanna tell you what I thought it was!

Overheard at West End Deli

Monday, April 27, 2009

Somebody Needs to Consult the Urban Dictionary

Middle school teacher, trying hard to be cool: Oh, dish!




(Overheard at King Middle School)

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Only 364 Shopping days to Easter!

Small Boy: (spotting bunny with Red Sox hat in sale Easter bin): I want the Red Sox one for Easter!

Mother
(exasperated): Easter was yesterday.

Boy (equally exasperated): No, next Easter.

(Overheard by JR at Hannaford)

Friday, April 10, 2009

That Novel Was NUTS

Homeless man: Hey sister! Hey! Care to help out a crazy novel?

(Overheard in Congress street)

You Call This Art?

Distinguished-looking older woman, examining a painting: Look at all that white space! He wasted two-thirds of the painting on white space!


(Overheard by MH at the Portland Museum of Art Biennial opening)

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

I knew it had SOME purpose

High School Boy 1: You can write about crap, that's ok. But you don't write about your feelings!
High School Boy 2: Yeah, that's what poetry is for!

Overheard on the bus

Obviously an Animal Rights Activist

Middle aged lady in a fur coat: So THAT'S how the dog got electrocuted!

(Overheard on Exchange Street)

Monday, April 06, 2009

Wow.

Mid 20's age Girl on Cell Phone: I don't know what you did to me last night, but it worked!

(Overheard on Munjoy Hill)

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Wood in the Street

Person One: There's wood in the street.

Person Two: So, it is neccessary to have wood in the street?

Person One: I'll take wood anywhere I can get it - but in the street works for me.

(overheard in the Old Port)

Friday, April 03, 2009

You Could Fry an Egg on the Sidewalk

Man: Wow! Look at that!
Other man: What?

Man: (Pointing) Some guy fried an egg on the pavement!
Other man: Holy shit!

Man: What do you think it tastes like?

(overheard in warmer months near Gilbert's Chowder House by Antonio)

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Perfect Hair

Man in trench coat at 2am: Hello young lady.

Me, a man: Hello.

Man, realizing I'm a man: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were a young lady because your hair, it's so perfect.


(Overheard on Preble Street by DM)

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Deering Oaks

Man: We should play frisbee at Deering Oaks this summer.

Kid: I don't like Deering Oaks anymore.

Man: Why not?

Kid: I just don't like it ever since I saw a homeless guy skinning a bird there.

(overheard on Brackett Street)