Saturday, October 31, 2009

It's a Glamorous Life

Drug dealer in line at the bank, whispering, just prior to exchanging ten dollars in penny rolls for a Hamilton: “Yeah. I got two left. Yeah, I got weed. Dude, I’m at the bank! Can I call you back?”

(Overheard by AP at Bank of America)

Friday, October 30, 2009


Son: "Do you remember Michel, the crazy guy?"

Mother: "He wasn't crazy, he was just Canadian."

(Overheard by DM on State Street)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Restaurant Review

Hobbit-like woman, to friend: "The Corner Room was terrible. The whole experience was kinda gay. Good thing I didn't pay. I'm a woman; that's my rule."

(Overheard by AS at the UHaul on Marginal Way)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

A Religious Education

Mom, having just explained what a cemetery is for: "Do you know anyone who has died?"

Preschooler number one: "Jesus."

Preschooler number two: "Who's Jesus?"

Preschooler number one: "You know... that naked guy."

(Overheard by Dorcas Beaver at Evergreen Cemetery)

Call This Number

(Seen by IWH near USM)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Hamster Derby

Cyclist number one: "I went to the coffee shop up on the hill yesterday."

Cyclist number two: "Oh, so you do have a life!"

Cyclist number three to Cyclist number four: "So, you have hamster derby kids?"

Cyclist number four: "Yep, two of 'em! My wife wants to race sometime, so that should be pretty wild."

Cyclists numbers one, two, and three: "Oh yeah! Put 'er there!

(Overheard on the Eastern Prom)


Teacher, to history class: "What I remember about Watergate was being with my grandmother, and she was crying. And I just wanted her to make me a grilled cheese sandwich."

Student: "That's such a great memory! You remember the exact situation!"

Teacher: "Yes, all I cared about was that grilled cheese sandwich. You know, that's just how children are. Especially fat children!"

(Overheard at a Portland high school by Margot)

Friday, October 09, 2009

Walking For My Heart

Younger man to older man, who is shuffling: "Are you okay? Can I help you?"

Older man: "No, but thanks. I've got bad feet."

Younger man: "I see you walking all the time."

Older man: "Indeed, I walk for my heart. I still need to take care of all of me."

Younger man: "You GO!"

(overheard early in the morning on Park Street)

Monday, October 05, 2009

I Think She Means "Heron."

Girl on bike calling to friends on bikes: "Another huge herring!"

(Overheard by John R on the Back Cove trail)

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Eighth Grade

Crazy guy in art gallery: "In life, it's not all about EDUCATION. You need, need, to learn important survival skills. If you're at a party... and there's alcohol... know what I'm sayin'? Get a glass of water between every 2, 3 drinks."

13 year old boy: "Ok."

Crazy guy in art gallery: "What grade are you in?"

13 year old boy: "Eighth..."

Crazy guy in art gallery: "Ooh. Eighth grade. That's a tough one. I got 4 of my teeth knocked out. I got my arm broken. All in eighth grade. See this? *Shows hand* A kid, stabbed me. Eighth grade."

13 year old boy: "Wow... So, what do you do?"

Crazy guy in art gallery: "If I told you... you see, the last person I told. My doctor. He DIED. He died of a heart attack."

(Overheard by IWH at a Portland art gallery during artwalk)

Those Were The Days

One shopper to another: "You know it, man! Like peyote buttons and Disaronno!"

(Overheard at Rosemont Market by MD)

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Virtually Overheard

One health conscious man to another: "we met today near the almond butter."

(Sort of overheard on craigslist)