Saturday, June 26, 2010

What you think that's costing us?

Young man on bike: "So, what you think that's costing us? Four cops?"

Older man: "Lots, and what did the kid do?"

Young man on bike: "Nothing, really. He's walking down the street with a holstered gun -- which, by the way, is legal in Maine."

Older man: "That all? Four cops with cruisers for that?"

Young man: "I believe so."

Older man: "Hell, in Pasquale nobody would bat an eye."

(Overheard in front of the Hay building in Portland Square)

Friday, June 25, 2010

Book Lovers

Guy #1, perusing a bin of one dollar books: "People don't appreciate books anymore since they got computers, but where did the first computer come from?"

Guy #2: "I dunno."
Guy#1: "A book. Yeah, think about it."

(Overheard by JR on Congress Street)

Carpenter, Forester, Golfer or ?

(Seen in Middle Street parking lot)

Monday, June 21, 2010

I Don't Like That Word

Woman in her late 20s, to friend: "That's my new thing. I block pregnant women on Facebook. Please don't send me fetus updates -- I don't like that word."

(Overheard by AS at Downtown Lounge)

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

If Nothing Else...

Woman on the phone with a kid in each arm: "Well, listen honey. You're kind, you're sweet, you're're MEXICAN! The whole fuckin' package!"

(Overheard by Anthony at the Old Port Festival)

Friday, June 11, 2010

Kids These Days

Woman to friend: "I love my grand kids, but their status updates are so boring."

(Overheard by JR in a Portland doctor's office waiting room)

When Did the Skies Become So Beautiful?

Man with long gray hair, wearing a karate outfit, to a group of tourists: "MMM, isn't the air today so nice? And my clothes, they're so soft! And and and the leaves are luscious. And that man's dinner jacket fits so well [he gestures to a tourist in a dinner jacket]! Mmm, and my clothes, mmm, my clothes are so soft. AND MMMM [slowly becoming more and more agitated and manic] MY CLOTHES ARE SO SOFT. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? WHEN DID THE SKIES BECOME SO BEAUTIFUL? MMMMM EVERYTHING IS SO NICE!"

(Overheard by LJ in Longfellow Square)

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

A Very Special Congress Street Moment

First guy on stoop: "Suck it, barbershop motherfucker."

Second guy on stoop
: "Yeah, motherfucker."

Woman on stoop: (Vomits copiously all over the sidewalk).

(Overheard by DM on Congress Street)

Tuesday, June 08, 2010


Female employee: "I don't like to drink. It gives people an excuse to be stupid."

Male employee: "I like excuses."

(Overheard by MP at the South Portland Goodwill)

Monday, June 07, 2010

Friday, June 04, 2010