Friday, April 08, 2016

A Djibouti Man

Patron One: "Could someone as ignorant as Donald Trump really become President of the United States?"

Patron Two: "I don't know, but if he does, we Somalis need to stick together."

Patron One: "OK brother, but I'm not Somali, I'm a Djibouti man."  





(Overheard by EL near the reference desk at the Portland Public Library)

Thursday, April 07, 2016

It Might Just Be You

First guy in group of guys who smell strongly of weed: "I love Portland. You can smell pot everywhere you go!"

Other guys: "Oh yeah!"





(Overheard by JR on Congress Street)

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Puppy Eyes

Woman behind counter: "You look as tired as I feel!"

Man: "Yeah."

WBC: "You just get up?"

Man: "How did you know?"

WBC: "You look really tired."

Man: "Well, I've always had puffy eyes."

WBC: "Puppy eyes?"

Man: "Can you just sell me this gum, please?"





(Overheard by RC at the Brighton Avenue 7-11)

Wednesday, March 09, 2016

You Are The Worst Mom


(Seen by LHT at the Habitat for Humanity ReStore)

Monday, March 07, 2016

Pretty Much Just Like That

Older man standing in very long line for the Democratic caucus, to companion: "It's just like when you go to an auditorium to see Cher!"





(Overheard by MEW near Deering High School)

Friday, March 04, 2016

Get a Job

Trump supporter, to protester: "GET A JOB!"

Man behind him: "Well, we're here and we have jobs."

Trump supporter: "Well I doubt that guy does."





(Overheard by JIP outside the Trump rally at the Westin Portland Harborview)

Tuesday, March 01, 2016

Decisions, Decisions

Pregnant woman thoroughly browsing the ice cream selection (yelling): "CHOCOLATE OR STRAWBERRY?"

Man's voice from the next aisle: "CHOCOLATE!"

Woman: "CHOCOLATE? OR DOUBLE FUDGE CHOCOLATE?"





(Overheard by JL in the frozen aisle of the Back Cove Hannaford)

Monday, February 29, 2016

Do You Hear What I Hear?



Portland, Mainers: we need your help! Overheard in Portland is the best local eavesdropping blog only because of its team of independent and (usually) anonymous reporters. That means YOU. We here at OIP HQ do our best, but we can't do it alone. So get out there and listen to what your neighbors are saying, then send those gems to us. You can do that by commenting on this blog, emailing liz(dot)woodbury(at)gmail(dot)com, or commenting on our Facebook page.


(Note: we will publish any overheard conversations as long as we consider them to be 1. Funny 2. Inoffensive 3. Authentic and 4. Overheard in or very near the state of Maine.)

Thursday, January 07, 2016

Strong Drinks

Guy to girl, peering in window: "They have all these really interesting drinks. They're really strong, like sass-her-ass and stuff."





(Overheard by EWW in front of Vena's Fizz House)

Monday, January 04, 2016

Zuzu's Petals

Dad, to young, giggling child riding in shopping cart: "Every time I touch your hair, an angel gets its wings!"




(Overheard at Target in South Portland)

Friday, December 11, 2015

Nah.

30-something man to 30-something woman: "Now, do we need any NON alcoholic beverages?"





(Overheard by ETS in the Biddeford Hannaford two days before Thanksgiving)

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Not Seen and Not Heard

Woman to friend: "I have five kids of my own--the last thing I want to see when I go to a restaurant, or anywhere in public really, is someone's kid."




(Overheard by JR on Congress Street)

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Schumergate

Man on cell phone, proclaiming: "I have to handle the Amy Schumer fallout and then I can deal with you."




(Overheard by AW on Fore Street)

Thursday, November 05, 2015

Hilarious

First smoking guy: "I know a joke."

Second smoking guy: "What is it?"

First guy: "How do you teach a handkerchief to dance?"

Second guy: "I have no idea."

First guy: "Put a little boogie in it."

Second guy (very excited): "THAT IS HILARIOUS. I WISH THERE WERE MORE JOKES LIKE THAT."




(Overheard by JR on Cumberland Avenue)

Sunday, October 18, 2015

I Can Believe It

Drunk guy to friend: "I drink half a gallon a night--I can't be drunk. I can't believe they kicked me out!"





(Overheard by AS in front of Portland House of Music)

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Call Your Girlfriend

Barefoot dude with unbuttoned shirt, to walking guy: "Hey man. Can I borrow your phone to make a call? I need to call my girlfriend 'cause..."

Guy (still walking): "I can't let you do that, man."

Barefoot dude: "Well, why not? Is it out of battery or something? Or is it because you're a stupid motherfucker?"

Guy (still walking, over his shoulder): "Yeah! The second one!"






(Overheard by DM on Congress Street)

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

We're in Maine Now

Young woman to young man: "We forgot the fuckin' football, didn't we?"

Young man: "Watch your mouth. We're not in New Hampshire anymore."





(Overheard by AG at Rite Aid in Fryeburg)

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Let Down Your Hair

Man on a bench at 7:45am, making eye contact with passing woman as he finishes a small bottle of whiskey: "What you lookin' at, Rapunzel?"





(Overheard by EN on Congress Street)

Monday, June 01, 2015

Former Florida Man

Older lady, to group of people at bus stop: "Well, I lived in Florida once, and I wasn't so crazy about it..."

Older man, interrupting loudly: "I lived in Florida for two years, and I hated every single minute of it!"




(Overheard at the bus stop in front of the Back Cove Hannaford)

Friday, May 29, 2015

Mocha Latte

Woman, muttering, as barista makes her a mocha latte: "Ooh, come to Mama..."




(Overheard by JL at the Gorham Grind)

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Barbecue sauce

Exasperated mother to small boy in shopping cart: "You don't need a bottle of barbecue sauce. What are you going to do with a bottle of BARBECUE sauce?"




(Overheard by ETS at Market Basket in Biddeford)

Monday, May 25, 2015

You're Probably Right

College student: "If someone's taking that much cash out of an ATM in Portland, it's for only one of two things: ethnic food or weed."




(Overheard slightly south of Portland)

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

Define "Gay"

Older man looking at movie posters, to female companion: "Mad Max is gay. Making a machine a woman--that's gay."




(Overheard by JR outside the Nickelodeon)

Monday, April 20, 2015

The Creative Economy

Woman 1: "She's, like, 30 and has never had a real job."

Woman 2: "What does she do? Make arts and crafts and sell crap on Etsy?"






(Overheard by MS on Congress Street)

Friday, April 17, 2015

Mrs. Baldwin

Teenage girl: "Mrs. Baldwin?"

Older woman: "Oh dear."

Girl: "What are you doing here?"

Mrs. Baldwin: "I won't tell if you don't."






(Overheard in the middle of a school day at Target in South Portland)

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Herbivores

Middle school kid, to friend: "I'm pretty sure Canadians are herbivores."






(Overheard by Anonymous at a Portland middle school)

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Smart People

Young woman to friend: "Naomi Watts--she is in all those movies that smart people like."






(Overheard by JR at Videoport)

Monday, April 13, 2015

Then Again...

One young man to another: "Just because you smoke crack doesn't make you a crackhead...but then again, it does."






(Overheard by STF near OhNo Cafe)

Monday, March 02, 2015

On Point

Young woman to friend: "In other news, my eyebrows are on point today."





(Overheard by LW in Augusta)

Important Things

Woman to friends: "That dress was everywhere--Facebook, the Today Show. Shouldn't we be talking about more important things? Leonard Nimoy died. Shouldn't we be talking about how cool he was?"



(Overheard by JR at The Holy Donut)