Woman to friend: "I mainly watch shows where bad things happen to celebrities."
(Overheard by JR at Speckled Ax)
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
History Lesson
Young woman: "I feel like a slave of Egypt...In the Holocaust."
(Overheard by CW on Sherman Street)
(Overheard by CW on Sherman Street)
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Facing the Facts
Woman on cellphone: "You don't got no furniture! You been smokin' coke, too!"
(Overheard by MB in Hannaford)
(Overheard by MB in Hannaford)
Friday, April 12, 2013
Whale Tail
70-ish guy with a slow southern drawl: "A whale tail? You know what a whale tail is, right? It's the top piece of a woman's thong. You know, she's bending over a bit, and you see the top part. The whale tail."
Toothless, townie guy at the nearby bar (with a drink in his hand): "Hey man, you've been on the Internet, haven't you?"
(Overheard by MH at J's Oyster)
Toothless, townie guy at the nearby bar (with a drink in his hand): "Hey man, you've been on the Internet, haven't you?"
(Overheard by MH at J's Oyster)
Friday, April 05, 2013
In or Out
Tall man, wearing a hat, to no one in particular: "There's only one way in or out: BURN ALIVE."
(Overheard by DM on Congress Street)
(Overheard by DM on Congress Street)
Thursday, March 14, 2013
A Select Clientele
Woman to Male Friend: "I want it to be the kind of place that attracts artists and musicians, not riffraff."
(Overheard by JR at Arabica)
(Overheard by JR at Arabica)
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Sacrifice for Savings
Woman (pointing to a box of macaroni and cheese): "I buy these at Walmart."
Second Woman: "Are they a good deal?"
Woman: "I never eat them, so they are a great deal for me."
(Overheard by JR at the USM campus store)
Second Woman: "Are they a good deal?"
Woman: "I never eat them, so they are a great deal for me."
(Overheard by JR at the USM campus store)
Saturday, March 09, 2013
Don't We All?
Scruffy-looking older guy, to pal: "I wonder what cavity searches are like..."
(Overheard by HC at the corner of Franklin and Commercial Street)
(Overheard by HC at the corner of Franklin and Commercial Street)
Friday, March 08, 2013
Meteorology Dreams
Guy, to dining companions: "I love weather research--it's where my heart is."
(Overheard by WH at Applebee's in Portland)
(Overheard by WH at Applebee's in Portland)
Thursday, March 07, 2013
The Truth
Girl in line, to sales clerk: "Let me tell you thumthing. If thumone tellth you that it doethn't hurt to get your tongue pierthed, don't believe them--it thure doeth hurt!"
(Overheard by KC at the CVS on Congress Street)
(Overheard by KC at the CVS on Congress Street)
Wednesday, March 06, 2013
The Dating Game
Young man on cell phone: "Yeah, she's a functioning drug addict. Unlike my last girlfriend, who was just an asshole."
(Overheard by BS outside the Portland Public Library)
(Overheard by BS outside the Portland Public Library)
Tuesday, March 05, 2013
Between Popes
One old salty dog to another: "Fish n' chips? Fish n'chips? Why you gettin' fish n' chips instead of chili?"
Second salty dog: "It's Friday. Gotta eat fish on Friday."
First salty dog: "No you don't! Ain't no pope: you can eat chili!"
(Overheard by Mindy at Three Dollar Deweys)
Second salty dog: "It's Friday. Gotta eat fish on Friday."
First salty dog: "No you don't! Ain't no pope: you can eat chili!"
(Overheard by Mindy at Three Dollar Deweys)
Monday, February 25, 2013
Prince Charming
Woman to friend: "I know he smokes crack and wets the bed sometimes, but he's all about me."
(Overheard by VB in the women's restroom at Spring Point Tavern)
(Overheard by VB in the women's restroom at Spring Point Tavern)
Saturday, February 23, 2013
How About if I Give You 50 Cents NOT To?
Fellow pushing a cart, to young woman: "Hey, excuse me. If I tell you a joke...will you give me 50 cents?"
(Overheard by MS on Congress Street near Joe's Smoke Shop)
(Overheard by MS on Congress Street near Joe's Smoke Shop)
Friday, February 22, 2013
Baby's First Word
Woman: "I'm teaching my baby to say 'chakra!'"
(Overheard by HC in Mexicali Blues)
(Overheard by HC in Mexicali Blues)
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Both Trendy and Useful
Guy: "I don't question fashion, I just follow the trends!"
Woman: I just don't understand what makes cargo shorts out but fanny packs in, you know what I mean?"
Guy: "At least you can store your drugs in either one."
(Overheard by AS on Congress Street)
Woman: I just don't understand what makes cargo shorts out but fanny packs in, you know what I mean?"
Guy: "At least you can store your drugs in either one."
(Overheard by AS on Congress Street)
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Anarchists vs Libertarians
Mother to teenage son: "Well, anarchists frustrate me sometimes, but libertarians make me sick."
(Overheard near USM)
(Overheard near USM)
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Cutest Cities
Man to woman: "It's cute in San Francisco. It's not cute in Portland, Maine."
Woman to man: "Patrick! Yes it is!"
(Overheard by IWH on Exchange Street)
Woman to man: "Patrick! Yes it is!"
(Overheard by IWH on Exchange Street)
Sunday, January 06, 2013
Sweet Potato Fries and Broccolini
Man perusing frozen grocery section: "...broccolini..."
Kid in cart: "Sweet potato fries!"
Man: "Oho, but we're going to make our own sweet potato fries, aren't we? But yes, you're right, those are premade sweet potato fries."
(Overheard at the Back Cove Hannaford)
Kid in cart: "Sweet potato fries!"
Man: "Oho, but we're going to make our own sweet potato fries, aren't we? But yes, you're right, those are premade sweet potato fries."
(Overheard at the Back Cove Hannaford)
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
A Pigeon By Any Other Name
Two year-old (pointing to bird): "Pee-jun."
Hip young dad: "Yes, that is a pigeon. Another much prettier name for it is Rock Dove."
Hip young mom: "Oh yes, that is much prettier for a name. It is a dove, after all. We'll call it a Rock Dove from now on!"
Two year-old (pointing to bird): "Pee-jun."
(Overheard by KC outside Longfellow Books)
Hip young dad: "Yes, that is a pigeon. Another much prettier name for it is Rock Dove."
Hip young mom: "Oh yes, that is much prettier for a name. It is a dove, after all. We'll call it a Rock Dove from now on!"
Two year-old (pointing to bird): "Pee-jun."
(Overheard by KC outside Longfellow Books)
Friday, December 14, 2012
Conspiracy Theorist
Normal-looking middle-aged woman: "I could tell you things that'd make your head spin. Especially about nine-eleven of 2001."
(Overheard by SP at Coffee By Design on Congress Street)
(Overheard by SP at Coffee By Design on Congress Street)
Friday, December 07, 2012
Pride
Young man on cell phone: "No, Mom, I refuse to work there. A chain? There's no pride in working at Applebee's, Mom."
(Overheard by AJL on the Metro bus)
(Overheard by AJL on the Metro bus)
Monday, November 26, 2012
Married Life
Old drunk man: "My wife asked me to take out the garbage. I told her, 'You cooked it--you take it out.'"
(Overheard by MK at Amigos)
(Overheard by MK at Amigos)
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Soulmates
One haggard old man to another: "You know and the shitty thing is she didn't realize that we both love dolphins."
(Overheard by HC outside of the Time and Temperature building)
(Overheard by HC outside of the Time and Temperature building)
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Fun and Games
One woman to another, shouting: "IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE GETS CUT WITH A RAZOR BLADE. Actually, even then I guess it could still be fun, but y'know..."
(Overheard by MS in front of Reny's)
(Overheard by MS in front of Reny's)
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Money
Panhandler, replying to pedestrian:
"'Sorry.' Yeah, I'll be sorry, too, when I have money."
(Overheard by LW in Monument Square)
(Overheard by LW in Monument Square)
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Like a Boot
Hipster 1: "Why doesn't LL Bean brew beer?"
Hipster 2: "Yeah, that would be really popular..."
Hipster 1: "But I guess we know how it would taste--like a boot."
(Overheard by AW at Hilltop Coffee Shop)
Hipster 2: "Yeah, that would be really popular..."
Hipster 1: "But I guess we know how it would taste--like a boot."
(Overheard by AW at Hilltop Coffee Shop)
Monday, November 12, 2012
State Street Confucius
Bald man, to passerby: "Trying to have a good night, sir. But disrespect is disrespect, ain't it?"
(Overheard by DM on State Street)
(Overheard by DM on State Street)
Sunday, November 11, 2012
The Morning After
20-something woman in gold lamé leggings, to friend: "There was so much safe sex going on in that room last night."
(Overheard by AP at 11:20 am on Congress Street)
(Overheard by AP at 11:20 am on Congress Street)
Tuesday, November 06, 2012
If You Want
Weathered man, to group of weathered men, in a very matter-of-fact conversational tone:
"I have my knife with me. I could put it in him if you want."
(Overheard by MS in front of the Station A Post Office on Congress Street)
(Overheard by MS in front of the Station A Post Office on Congress Street)
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