Thursday, October 19, 2017

He'd Be Hirsute

First grader to teacher: "What if a man had a beard so long it went all the way to New Jersey?"




(Overheard by ARA at an elementary school north of Portland)

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Videoport Throw Back

First Man in porn nook: "'Girls Gone Wild: My Big Breakfast'…?"

Second Man in porn nook: "That says 'BREASTS.' 'My Big BREASTS.'"

First Man: "Oh. I thought it said 'breakfast.'"




(Overheard years ago by JL at Videoport)

Friday, October 06, 2017

Some Days It Sure Feels Like It

First grader to teacher: "Are you going to teach until you die?"






(Overheard by ARA at an elementary school north of Portland)

Monday, September 04, 2017

Capitalism in a Nutshell

One bro to another: "That's capitalism in a nutshell, bro. That's capitalism in a nutshell, bro. That's capitalism in a nutshell, bro."




(Overheard by AS on Congress Street near Empire)

Friday, August 25, 2017

Dog People

Woman (watching dogs play): "Sometimes she chases every dog she sees, and sometimes she's not interested in playing at all."

Man: "Yeah, my dog wants to meet every dog he sees, but he really only ever plays with like a third of them. Mostly he just sniffs and moves on."

Woman:"I guess we shouldn't underestimate their intelligence. I don't want to talk to most of the people I meet."

Man: "Me too."

(silence)




(Overheard by JR at Willard Beach)

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

The Sound of Summer

Guy, swirling ice cubes in iced coffee, to friend: "Hey, I'm a Foley artist! That's the sound of summer!"

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Back to the Future

One tourist to another: "I love Portland! People riding bikes, sitting on benches, eating ice cream... It's just like the 1950s!"



(Overheard by SH on Moulton Street)

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

A Regular Shithole

Person #1 to Person #2: "Portland? It's so busy. And it used to be nothing! It used to be a regular shithole."





(Overheard by AS near The Sock Shack on Congress Street)

Monday, July 10, 2017

The Real Portland

Tourist 1 to Tourist 2, crossing Temple Street toward Monument Square: "Now we're in the real Portland. Not boutique-y Portland."




(Overheard by SH near Monument Square)

Tuesday, May 02, 2017

The Answer To This Question Is Always Yes

Person 1 to Person 2, gesturing toward their pooping dog: "Do you think I need to pick that up?"

Person 2: "Nah."




(Overheard by J and C outside Quarry Run Dog Park)

Tuesday, February 07, 2017

My Wish


(Seen by MK on Ocean Avenue)

Monday, February 06, 2017

Protest Fatigue

Locally famous school librarian, to friend: "Just got off work, and now I'm going to another goddamned demonstration."




(Overheard on Congress Street before the Rally Against the Muslim Immigration Ban)