Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Are You a Good Witch? Or a Bad Witch?

Guy running up to me: "Are you an undercover cop giving out tickets, or a vigilante secretly feeding the meter?"

Me (somewhat shocked by the question): "I am just unlocking my bike."

Guy (putting quarters in meter): "Oh."





(Overheard beside a parking meter in downtown Portland by JR)

Monday, September 28, 2009

Lollygagging

Sketchy street kid: "Hey, how's it going?"

Man walking by: "It's going fine."

Street kid: "Hey, can I borrow your cell phone?"

Man: "Uh, sure." (dials for the kid, then hands over the phone)

Street kid, into cell phone: "I'm at the corner, man! Quit lollygagging!"




(Overheard by DM on Congress Street)

Friday, September 25, 2009

Half-Vegetarian

Middle School Aged Boy 1: "Today is International Hug a Vegetarian Day!"

*Everyone around gives hugs*

Middle School Aged Boy 2: :
Wait, aren't you only, like, half vegetarian? Like, your mom is vegetarian, and you're dad's like, Colombian or something like that, right?"




(Overheard at King Middle School)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A Big Problem in Haiti

Hipster girl, pushing her bike while talking on her cell phone: "What if she gets kidnapped and turned into a zombie? I hear that's a big problem in Haiti. Is that what you're worried about? (pauses to listen) No, listen, this is legit!"





(Overheard on Congress Street by Margot)

Cookies

Women #1, admiring cookie cutters: "I like these, I could put them on my kitchen wall."

Women #2: "Or you could make some cookies."





(Overheard at LaRoux's Kitchen, cookie cutter wall)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

It's a Rental

Dad, to his son who is driving: "It doesn't matter if you ride the curb. It's a rental."




(Overheard on Park Street)

Monday, September 14, 2009

I only eat soft serve!

Grammar School Child Number One: "I love ice cream!"

Grammar School Child Number Two: "Me too. Especially soft serve. I love that stuff."

Number One: "So what were you guys playing?"

Number Two: "Soccer."

Number One: "Yeah, soft serve is the best."





(Overheard on Glenwood Street)

Monday, September 07, 2009

Loses All Its Nutrients?

Guy from Kansas, chopping carrots: "If we're cutting this up so finely, doesn't it lose all its nutrients?"

Woman: "HAHA! That doesn't matter!"

Guy from Kansas: "But... if you cook it, it does, right?"

Woman: "That's different!"






(Overheard in a kitchen on Brighton Avenue)

Friday, September 04, 2009

In A Can

Intoxicated individual: "Hey! You've got - that's my shirt!! Rude!"

Just a Guy:
"Hey! Go do it in a can!"




(Overheard on the Maine State Pier)

Thursday, September 03, 2009

High School Will Be Better, I Promise

Eager middle school girl: "Did you notice my new sweatshirt from AĆ©ropostale?"

Snotty middle school girl: "No. I didn't."





(Overheard near King Middle School on the first day of school)

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Religious Dialogue on Congress Street

Angrily shouting homeless guy number one: "The Ten Commandments were written for Moses! That's who they were written for!"

Angrily shouting homeless guy number two: "The Ten Commandments were written for the Jewish people! And no one else!"





(Overheard on Congress Street by Margot)

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

How To Meet Your Next Date?

Parking guy: "Hey, I've dated some of the women whose cars I've booted. I've even had to boot some of them again."





(Overheard on Sliver Street)