Bar Truisms

Older gentleman: "When you go out alone, you may think the grass is greener. The grass ain't greener. The grass is brown. Nah, ladies, that grass? That grass is brown."

Bar patron, possibly intoxicated: "It must be open mic night!"
Bar patron, definitely intoxicated: "It's open BLACK night!"

Shakespeare fan: "Have you seen those poets? They think they're so grandiose. Shakespeare, man, we should have a Shakespeare open mic. That would show those poets how to use words."

(Overheard by JJ @ The White Heart)