Saturday, December 29, 2007

I'm not talking about you

Loud woman: I'm not talking about you, but some people sound kinda snobby. Some people, when they say French words with an English accent, they sound kinda snobby. But that's okay. And anyway, I'm not talking about you.

Hipster guy: Are you thinking of that guy's name? Cause that was just his last name.

Loud woman: His name? Well. Well, it doesn't matter. And I wasn't talking about you. What about people who don't pronounce their own names the way they're supposed to be pronounced?

Overheard at Benkay.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Bug Light

Man yelling into cellphone while pumping gas: Hello? Hello? Are you at Bug Light now? Cause me and the kids wanna see the fuckin' lighthouse!

(Overheard in Scarborough)

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Grundy Wooo!

Inebriated twenty-something yelling across the boat: GRUNNNNDYYY!
Grundy: It's like I'm in the Monkees!
Inebriated twenty-something: GRRRRUNNNNDYYY WOOOOOOOOO!
Me: He can't hear you with your shirt on.

(Overheard by Thump on the Peaks Island to Portland Sunday ferry)

Vinny the Brick

Guy on cell: Mr. Wagner, this is Vinny the Brick. I'm very sorry you've been so unlucky at the track. I'll be seeing you later today. (Voice changes to normal, non Vinny-the-Brick voice). I'll be there around seven, you want me to bring red or white?

(overheard by Matthew Myers outside Coffee By Design on India Street)

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

strawberry fields/other people

Organic-looking mom: Only pick the really red ones, sweetie. We leave the rest for other people.

(Overheard at Maxwell's fields)

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Free Association on the Maine State Pier

Guy: I really wanna piss someone off. I'm in the mood to piss someone off. Bye, kids!

Woman: Do I look really doghairy?

Friend: You might want to shake it off a little bit.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Feeding an Army

Me: (silently observing two full shopping carts' worth of hamburger and hot dog buns being rung up in front of me at the grocery store)

Military Guy in Camoflage: This may take a while, ma'am. We're feeding an army here.

(Overheard at Hannaford)

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Tres Chaud!

First Young Woman: Yeah, French is hot!

Second Young Woman: I know -- it's, like, the new Italian!

(Overheard at JoAnn Fabric)

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Old Lady: Did you see Serena Williams play last night?
Old Lady 2: She has the biggest rear end I've ever SEEN!

Courtesy of Comrade Rafa

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


Loud woman, on cell phone: Yeah, I got my masters' in educating the hearing impaired, but I've been in insurance since '79. I guess I'm kind of dating myself.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Teacher: I've taught on four continents, and you guys are the WORST class I've EVER HAD!
Student: Which continents?
Teacher: Africa, North America, and Japan. Well, three. But I've been in a couple earthquakes!