Psychotic Multi-tasking

Man (talking loudly to self while pretending to push buttons on a small notepad): "I AM FUCKIN' TEXTING!"






(Overheard by JR on Congress Street)

A Foolish Purchase

Woman on cellphone, to man: "She says it's seventy-five dollars."

Man: "How much?"

Woman: "Seventy-five. She don't know the value of a dollar."

Man: "Well, how old is it?"

Woman: "She says it's two years old."

Man: "What?!" Seventy-five dollars for a two-year old cat? I thought it was a kitten!" (Grabs cell phone.) "It's two years old? You're stupid. You're stupid. I don't even want to look at it. Go ahead, do whatever you want." (Hangs up.)

Woman: "I told you, she don't know the value of a dollar."





(Overheard at the Back Cove Hannaford)


*The first reader to correctly guess what was in their shopping cart gets a special gift!

It's Sad to See a Catch Phrase Die

Man to friends, well to anyone, repeatedly: "I am single, bilingual, and ready to mingle."






(Overhead by JR at Local 188)

Child Rearing 101

Woman #1 with barefoot toddler and stroller: "I need to change this one's diaper. It stinks!"

Woman #2 with barefoot toddler and stroller: "Do you have any cream for her butt?"

Woman #1: "Yeah, she has a bit of a rash. They gave me something for jock itch and said that should work just fine."

Woman #2: "Cool."




(Overheard by KC on the #1 Metro bus)

Done.

Man, getting into running car, to woman: "The car's been on this whole time?"

Woman, to man: "Yeah. Fuck the environment."







(Overheard by IWH in the Target parking lot in Augusta)