Protocol

Woman pushing baby stroller, to friend: "And then I told her, if you have full-blown AIDS, you are NOT supposed to be working with the food!"





(Overheard by LA on Oxford Street)

Nice Vest

Scruffy 50-something man, to a passerby, politely: "Excuse me! Nice vest! (Turns to his buddies, also scruffy 50-something men) Either go to the hospital or die! Anaphylactic shock!"






(Overheard by MB outside Matthew's)

Teach Your Children Well

Little boy bringing a movie from the horror section to his father in the family movie section: "Dad, you're not going to like the cover, but you told me never to judge a book by its cover, and a movie is like a book."






(Overheard by JR at Videoport)

Boys Vs Girls

Grocery bagger, to cashier: "Boys or girls?"

Cashier: "Two boys, girl in the middle. If I'da known then what I know now, I'da figured out a way to make 'em all boys."





(Overheard at Hannaford)

Also Known as Sunlight

Man to Hannaford employee (gesturing to rain, arms wide open): "Isn't this great, liquid radiation!"






(Overheard by JR in the Hannaford parking lot)

Real Men

Drunk woman, screaming:  "Real men eat pussy!"





(Overheard by DM on Brackett Street)

LP

Young woman on her cell phone: “I finally figured it out. LP stands for long playing!”





(Overheard by NK at the corner of Pearl Street and Middle Street)

Or the Weather Channel

Sharply-dressed young man to two scruffy guys: "Hey, do you know what the weather's going to be like tonight?"

Scruffy guy number one: "No."

Sharply-dressed man: "Maybe you should watch the news."

Scruffy guy number one to scruffy guy number two: "What the fuck is he talking about?"






(Overheard by JF on Preble Street)

Text Me?

Early 30's man, speaking to a woman walking several yards in front of him: "If you're gonna ditch me for your ex-boyfriend, at least give me a fuckin' text."





(Overheard by DM on Free Street)

Whatever

Woman to man: "What do you want for dinner? Sushi? Whatever, you're cooking."






(Overheard by EB at Hannaford in Rockland)

Don't Knock Like a Cop

20-something woman, restraining large pitbull, to two baggy pants wearing 20-ish men: "When you get up to the door, knock loud. But not, you know, not like a cop loud!"





(Overheard by AN on Congress Street)