Sunday, October 31, 2010


First Guy: "They were great! They had this song, it was so good, it went "Murder. Death. Kill. Rape."

Second Guy: "Nice. Catchy!"

(Overheard by DM in Monument Square)

Saturday, October 30, 2010

I.Q. Test

Nine year-old boy #1, watching leaves fall: "It's snowing!"

Nine year-old boy #2: "It's not snowing, Will. Will, do you need to be tested again?"

(Overheard near Nathan Clifford Elementary School)

Friday, October 29, 2010

Think Before You Vote

One Marden's customer to another: "I love Mahden's. But do ya really want Maine to look like Mahden's?"

(Overheard by KB at Marden's)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Which is Really What Halloween is All About

Little boy, admiring creepy Halloween decorations: “I think the girls’ll be freaked out.”

(Overheard by ES at the Falmouth Walmart)

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Man on cell phone: "Yo! It's me! Yo, it's me, brother, your Negro friend!"

(Overheard on Congress Street near Green Hand Books)

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Age of Consent

Guy: "I love this place! There were a bunch of really hot girls sitting around the statue earlier."

Girl: "They were probably girls from Portland High School."

Guy: "Oh. (Pause) But if they're seniors, that means that some of them might be 18, right?"

(Overheard by ED in Monument Square)

Monday, October 25, 2010


Man, stopping at the Philosophy department's table: "Philosophy! Is that even a real subject?"

(Overheard by JR at the USM open house)

Friday, October 22, 2010

This Fancy Bread Thing

Normal-looking man in line at Hannaford, holding two bags of English muffins, speaking to no one: "I don't know about no bread. See, I play sports - that's what I do, so I don't know about no bread. I'm from New York City, we don't do this, this fancy bread thing. See, this here's the country, in Maine, and that's the city. Yankees win tomorrow, I'll go on back home."

(Overheard at the Back Cove Hannaford)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Purves, etc.

(Seen by MT in the woods near the Maine/New Hampshire border)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

It Doesn't Matter

Woman, to bookstore clerk: "Do you have any children's language books? I want to teach someone to speak American. She's from Iraq (pronounced eye-rack)."

Clerk: "Is she an adult?"

Customer: "No, but it doesn't matter."

(Overheard by JF at Borders in South Portland)

Monday, October 18, 2010

Be Safe, Kids

(Seen in Deering Oaks)

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Not Tripping...

Woman, to fellow "healing practices" students: "Now I want to say: I didn't take LSD."

The group: "Okay, sure..."

Woman: "I had a journey where I was farted out of a crazy person and breathed in by star people. Then I popped out as an egg."

(Overheard at a restaurant on Congress Street)

Saturday, October 16, 2010

...Or Not

College-aged girl to a group of friends: "I 'heart' anal. I should have that printed on my mailbox!"

(Overheard by DC in the Old Port)

Friday, October 15, 2010


(Seen on State Street)

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Bad Ass Snickers

Congress Street guy, abruptly crossing the street with a tiny dog on a leash, causing a pickup truck to screech to a halt: "They see Snickers coming, they fucking stop."

(Overheard by DM on Congress Street)

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

So True

Disheveled woman, sitting sprawled with her belongings in a driveway, hollering across the street: "You're gonna deteriorate, motherfucker!"

(Overheard by DM on Congress Street)

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Moving to Maine

Man on cellphone: "First of all, you're going to need a shovel. For shoveling snow. Yeah. And even more, you'll need an ice scraper. An ice scraper. To scrape the ice off your car. No, see, when the rain falls? It freezes on your car, and you got to scrape it off."

(Overheard in the parking lot at the Back Cove Hannaford)

Monday, October 04, 2010

Mediocre Deli

(Seen on Route 25 in Standish)

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Saturday, October 02, 2010

Big Halloween Plans

Woman, to little boy: "I don't know, maybe Daddy could be Shaggy. Although...I think Daddy would prefer to be Fred."

(Overheard at the Goodwill on Forest Avenue)

Friday, October 01, 2010

Autumn Leaves Drift Down

(Seen at the Greyhound station on Congress Street)