Married Life

Old drunk man: "My wife asked me to take out the garbage. I told her, 'You cooked it--you take it out.'"




(Overheard by MK at Amigos)

Soulmates

One haggard old man to another: "You know and the shitty thing is she didn't realize that we both love dolphins."





(Overheard by HC outside of the Time and Temperature building)

Fun and Games

One woman to another, shouting: "IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE GETS CUT WITH A RAZOR BLADE. Actually, even then I guess it could still be fun, but y'know..."





(Overheard by MS in front of Reny's)

Money

Panhandler, replying to pedestrian: "'Sorry.' Yeah, I'll be sorry, too, when I have money."





(Overheard by LW in Monument Square)

Like a Boot

Hipster 1: "Why doesn't LL Bean brew beer?"

Hipster 2: "Yeah, that would be really popular..."

Hipster 1: "But I guess we know how it would taste--like a boot."





(Overheard by AW at Hilltop Coffee Shop)

State Street Confucius

Bald man, to passerby: "Trying to have a good night, sir. But disrespect is disrespect, ain't it?"




(Overheard by DM on State Street)

The Morning After

20-something woman in gold lamé leggings, to friend: "There was so much safe sex going on in that room last night."





(Overheard by AP at 11:20 am on Congress Street)

If You Want

Weathered man, to group of weathered men, in a very matter-of-fact conversational tone: "I have my knife with me. I could put it in him if you want."





(Overheard by MS in front of the Station A Post Office on Congress Street)

You're Thinking of Congress Street

Old man to young woman: "Fuck this street! Where are all the freakshows?"





(Overheard by AJL on Free Street during Art Walk)