Monday, September 30, 2019

It's Decorative Gourd Season

Mom to teenage daughter: "Oh, wait, did you want to get a funky gourd?"

Daughter: "Nope."

(Overheard at the farmer's market in Deering Oaks)

Monday, September 23, 2019

At the Fair

Middle-aged woman, watching an 8 or 9 year old boy swinging a mallet at the strength tester: "I could totally kick that guy's ass."

(Overheard at the Common Ground Fair)

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

What Doesn't Kill You Only Makes Vacation Better

Woman to man: "That is what people do when they're on vacation. They see stuff and do things. So go back to the hotel, take some aspirin, put some ice on it, lie down for a bit. Then you can go out later."

(Overheard by JR in the Old Port)

Wednesday, September 04, 2019

It's the Law

Male tourist: "A whole lotta Subarus in Portland..."

Female tourist: "Really high per-capita rate."

Male tourist: "Yeah, I think the rule is two Subarus per person here."

(Overheard by EWW in the Old Port)

Monday, July 29, 2019

Havin' a Summah

Young tourist 1 to young tourist 2: "I picture today as our relaxed, free-time day. Then tomorrow we'll do something structured, like going to the beach or hanging out."

(Overheard by SH on Middle Street)

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Yeah — It's in Boston

Guy getting out of a car with New York plates, to valet: "Last time we were here, we went to a cocktail bar. Do you know where that is? The cocktail bar?"

(Overheard by SH on Exchange Street)

Thursday, April 04, 2019

Hashtag We Rock

20-something bro-dude 1: "His band has eleven thousand followers on Facebook."

Dude 2: "Bullshit! If you're a local band with more than two thousand followers, you paid for them. I mean, we rock, and we only have eight hundred."

Dude 1: "Exactly. That's what I said."

(Overheard by SH on Exchange Street)

Monday, March 18, 2019

It's still a thing

Man: "What day is it?"
Woman: "It's St. Patrick's Day."
Man: "Is it the 16th?"
Woman: "It's March 17th, St. Patrick's Day."
Man: "I didn't realize that was still a thing."

(Overheard at Rose Foods)

Monday, March 04, 2019

50 Shades of Business

Male customer to female friend: "I'm literally turning him clockwise and spanking his ass with my offer."

(Overheard by LB at Coffee By Design on Congress Street.)

Tuesday, January 01, 2019

Another year, another sidewalk philosopher

One human to another: “Portland is just for getting fucked up and talking about politics, not for looking at stars.”

(Overheard by AJL on Forest Avenue)