Quintessentially New York

20-something biker hipster to group of friends: "Oh my God: Mexican chocolate! It’s, like, the two things that are quintessentially New York!”





(Overheard by GS in the Mt. Desert ice cream shop on Exchange Street)

First Date?

Man on cell phone: "That's the only time I was with her. When I got Tased, I went home."

(Overheard by KR on Congress Street)

You Know Me

One man to another: "You know me: I like my sorcery."

(Overheard by DM at the Congress Street Coffee By Design)

The Problem With Urban Living

One man to a group of his friends: "The problem with urban living is that you have to hear other people's music and smell other people's cooking."

Older friend: "That is why we are not going to move to the city until we retire: by then we won't be able to hear or smell a thing."





(Overheard by JR at Arabica)

The Way Bus Driving Should Be

Bus driver, furious about late arriving passengers: "Jesus Christ, I gotta dump this Maine route."







(Overheard on the South Station to Portland Concord Coach Line bus)

Winning the Lottery

One teenager to another: "What would you do if you won the lottery?"

The other teenager: "Yo, I would do it up! I would get corn rows and everything, yo!"






(Overheard by AW on Cleeve Street at 2am)

Cancer

Mother, with lit cigarette in lips, to elementary school aged son: "What you need to know is that cancer is not a death sentence. 98% of the time it's not."






(Overheard by AN on North Street)

Kids in Portland

Maine mom in tank top, to kid running down the sidewalk dodging pedestrians: "Hey, I hope you said, 'Excuse me' to those people when you ran by them! Half the kids in Portland think they're gangstah!"






(Overheard by KC on Congress Street near Joe's Smoke Shop)

Organic Cheese

Mother in her kitchen: "I just want my goddamn organic cheese!"

(Overheard by AJGL on Highland Street)

Dream Date

Girl 1: "So you have a date, eh?"

Girl 2: "Yeah, he's a Jewish graphic designer that loves sushi and commitment."






(Overheard by VP in Portland)

More Sexy

One old man to another: "You know, what this town needs is more sexy. Good looking guys like us can only compensate for so much ugly."






(Overheard by MW on the Eastern Prom)

Getting Old

30-something guy, holding bouquet of flowers, to girl: "I am getting old. My knees are stiff, and I have never been with two women."






(Overheard by KC In front of an art gallery on Congress Street)

A Change of Plans

Man on cellphone: "Hey dude, I thought that we had plans to eat grilled cheese sandwiches today."







(Overheard by JR on Free Street)

Do You Understand What This Means?

Man outside window: "I care not about the fucking electrical storm. I am going to tie you to a tree and burn you to death forever, Jerry. Do you hear me? [screaming] DO YOU UNDERSTAND. WHAT. THIS. MEANS?!"





(Overheard by DM on State Street)

You're Not Fuckin' Four

Stroller-pushing Maine mom, to older child walking alongside: "Quit whinin'! What are you, nine? You're not fuckin' four! God damn."






(Overheard by DM on Congress Street)

Nice Weather

One burly bald guy to another: "So nice out today. Perfect drinkin' weather."






(Overheard in the parking lot at the Back Cove Hannaford)

No Cigarettes

Man, being escorted out of the library: "I got no cigarettes and no money. And when you got no cigarettes and no money, you gotta do something. I'm sorry if eveyone thought I was all "scary." (using finger quotes)

Same guy, 10 minutes later, to a female companion, on the sidewalk: "What? I didn't do anything."






(Overheard by LW at the Portland Public Library)

Raining in China

Middle-Aged Man #1: "You know, the weather this week is supposed to be really shitty."

Middle-Aged Man #2: "Where...here?"

Man #1 (sarcastically): "No, in China!"

(Overheard by AJGL in the Planet Fitness locker room)

The Glass is Half Empty

Grocery bagger, to customer: "How's it going today, sir?"

Customer: "It's going well, but there's still plenty of time for it to go bad."







(Overheard at the Back Cove Hannaford)

I Thought I Knew You!

Old, obviously intoxicated man, shouting at a car: "What happened to us, man? I thought I knew you! I really...I really...O Danny boy...the pipes, the pipes are calling...from glen to glen..."

(Overheard by AJGL on Commercial Street)

Him Too!

Man, shouting up a set of stairs: "You! You! You, and that fucking Al from Rite Aid!"

(Overheard by LW on Congress Street near Franklin Street)