Monday, December 10, 2018

Avocados Have Feelings Too

Teacher to class: “Has anyone had an avocado?”

Second grader: “No, I’m a vegetarian, so I don’t eat meat.”

(Overheard by ARA at an elementary school outside of Portland)

Friday, November 30, 2018

Kids These Days

Second grade teacher, reading an informational book about knights: “And Sir Lancelot fought for Lady...“

Student: “Gaga?!”

(Overheard at an elementary school west of Portland)

Monday, November 05, 2018

Hannaford Paleontologist

Boy: "There are dinosaurs in the store!"
Dad: "Real dinosaurs?"
Boy: "Yeah."
Dad: "What aisle are they in? Frozen vegetables?"
Boy: (unintelligible)
Dad: "Oh, they're carnivores. They're in the meat department then."

(Overheard by ETS at Hannaford in Biddeford)

Tuesday, October 09, 2018

Communication problems

European Woman, quietly: "I’d like a latte macchiato, please."

Employee, not quite hearing her: "Sorry, what?"

European Woman, thinking that that the employee didn’t understand her phrasing: "I wish, please, to consume a latte macchiato."

(Overheard by JL at the Rusty Lantern on Congress Street)

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

The Most Important Meal of the Day

Person, to friend: "You know what I just realized? I don't even like breakfast pizza!"

(Overheard by AJL in front of the Hilltop Superette on Congress Street).

Friday, September 14, 2018

Island Mystery

One tourist to another: "I'm sure there are more shops on the island, because how else do they make money if they live here?"

(Overheard by JF Downfront on Peaks Island)

Monday, August 06, 2018

Better Order the Pho

Woman to dining companion: "I like things white girl spicy. You know, just a little bit of pepper."

(Overheard by JR at Cong Tu Bot)

Thursday, August 02, 2018

Kids These Days

Eight or nine year-old boy, yelling at barking dog as he runs by: "Arf arf, bitch!"

(Overheard by MR on High Street in South Portland)

Monday, July 30, 2018

The Original Bullshitters

Man, lecturing family members on the history of the Mayflower: "They were effective at convincing everybody that they were hot shit, but they weren't the first settlers."

(Overheard at Pool Lobster at Goldthwaite's in Biddeford Pool)

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Lobster Roll

Young man, to Canadian tourists: "I want to move to Canada!"

Canadian: "Oh really? Why?"

Young man: "Because I'm gonna be straight homeless in New York, and I'm losing my health insurance."

Canadian: "So where's the best place around here for a lobster roll?"

(Overheard by IWH on Mackworth Island)

Friday, February 23, 2018

The Funny Thing About Bill

Older woman to younger woman: "The funny thing about Bill is that although he has great taste when it comes to furnishings, and a great eye for art, when it comes to food he is just an old white guy."

(Overheard by JR at Mami)