Thursday, September 30, 2010


Eccentric woman, sighing and plucking at her orange sweatshirt: "Oh, look at me. I look terrible, I look like I just rolled out of bed. You ever have days like that?"

Barista: "Yeah."

Eccentric woman: "It's just hard when you have to boil all your clothes."

(Overheard by Margot at Starbucks on Congress Street)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Deering Oaks/Carnegie Hall

Man on cell phone: "It's a Liza Minnelli at Carnegie Hall crowd!"

(Overheard by N F-S at the Lady Gaga rally to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

What Do You Think He Looks Like?

Person One: "What does he look like?"

Person Two: "He's gay."

(Overheard by Kit Marlowe at the Lady Gaga rally to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell)

Monday, September 27, 2010

And Why Does Mommy Refer to Herself in the Third Person?

Woman pushing a shopping cart, to her toddler child: "Why does Mommy always get afraid to ask? She knows she should, but she's always too afraid."

(Overheard at Target in South Portland)

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Brought to You by Meat

Movie patron, in a loud announcer's voice, responding to a commercial preceding Scott Pilgrim vs The World: "Science! Brought to you by meat!"

(Overheard at the Nickelodeon)

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Gallows Humor

Obese lady in an electric wheelchair, laughing dismissively:  "Does it look like I could die of congestive heart failure?"

(Overheard by Dylan M. at the Rite Aid on Congress Street)

Friday, September 24, 2010

Be Brave

(Seen on Congress Street near Eli Phant)

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Highway to the Danger Zone

College-age guy on plane, holding two pairs of aviator-style sunglasses, to seatmate: "Hey, will you put these on and sing the Top Gun theme song as we take off? You know, 'Danger Zone'?"

Seatmate: "Uh. No, I don't think so."

College guy (sadly): "Wow, somebody around here's gotta do it with me."

(Overheard by MH on a Portland-to-Detroit flight)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

No Nitrous Required

Little boy on his way into the dentist's office: "I'm already calm."

(Overheard by ZWH at Just For Kids Pediatric Dentistry in Scarborough)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

It Will Be Awkward

(Seen in the restroom at Bard on Middle Street )

Monday, September 20, 2010

No, Lady Gaga Calls the Shots

Harried mother, dragging her crying child by his forearm: "You do not call the shots -- there's a lot of people here!"

(Overheard in Deering Oaks at the Lady Gaga rally to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell)

We Have Our Whole Lives Ahead of Us

Hungry Friend 1: (to two people walking past with plates of pizza): "I'm so jealous of your slices!"

Hungry Friend 2: "No, you're not jealous. That pizza is old. We have our whole lives ahead of us."

(Overheard by Kate in front of Otto Pizza on Congress Street)

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Having Zipper Troubles?

(Seen on Congress Street in the window of Antoine's)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

No Way!

Man with long gray hair and a matching beard, stopping abruptly at the shampoo aisle, in a very loud voice: "Oh no, I'm not going down that aisle -- it smells!"

(Overheard at the back cove Hannaford)

Sunday, September 12, 2010


One fiftyish guy to another: "You know what I hate about walking? The tripping and falling!"

(Overheard by JR in front of the Nickelodeon)

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Almost 110 Percent, But Not Quite

Young man on cell phone: "Dude, I just want you to know that I'm behind you 101 percent.  101 percent."

(Overheard by CM on Gray Street)

Monday, September 06, 2010

The State of Maine

Middle-aged woman, scowling at broken hand drier, which has an "out of order" sign on it:  "You'd think it would behoove the state of Maine to fix that thing!"

(Overheard in the women's restroom at Wolf Neck State Park in Freeport)

Sunday, September 05, 2010

As the Old People Say

Man standing in line at the bank, to his friend: "As the old people say, I've got too much month at the end of my money!"

(Overheard by DM at Five County Credit Union)

Saturday, September 04, 2010

A Bad Idea

Young woman on her front porch speaking loudly into her cell phone: "Man, I told you that methadone was a baaaaad idea!"

 (Overheard by CM on Tate Street)

Thursday, September 02, 2010

What, this old thing?

Fancy woman, to friend: "Oh this? (gestures to necklace) Pavé diamonds. Fortieth anniversary. Trust me, I deserved it."

(Overheard in Freeport at the Ralph Lauren outlet store)

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

We Need to Pee

(Seen by LT outside the Portland Public Library)

Who Controls the Past

(Seen on Portland Street)