Swine Flu 3 for 1

Tennis Coach: Do we have an odd number?

Tennis Coach 2: Yeah, but I could tell Mike he has swine flu and send him home.

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Gym Employee: Swine flu is the new Twitter!

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Teen girl: Jeremy has swine flu. 

Woman: Jeremy is swine flu!

That Helmet is Hot

Guy in cycling gear to girl: You got to get a helmet that looks good, so you want to wear it all the time. Everyone likes to look good.

(Overheard by JR at Arabica)

GIRL ON HER CELL PHONE IN THE STAIR WELL AT USM

" YOU DID NOT JUST HANG UP. WHY DID YOU HANG UP? NO. YOU SAY GOODYE, AND THEN YOU HANG UP. RIGHT? THATS WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE DO, THEY SAY GOODYE BYE AND THEN THEY HANG UP." THEN SHE HUNG UP.

It's actually a secret code.

Male Deli Employee: Everybody loves BOGO!

Female Deli Employee: I don't even know what that is.

Male Deli Employee: Everybody knows what BOGO is.

Female Deli Employee: Well, I don't.

Male Deli Employee: It's "Buy one get one"!

Female Deli Employee: Seriously? Well I don't even wanna tell you what I thought it was!

Overheard at West End Deli

Somebody Needs to Consult the Urban Dictionary

Middle school teacher, trying hard to be cool: Oh, dish!




(Overheard at King Middle School)

Only 364 Shopping days to Easter!

Small Boy: (spotting bunny with Red Sox hat in sale Easter bin): I want the Red Sox one for Easter!

Mother (exasperated): Easter was yesterday.

Boy (equally exasperated): No, next Easter.

(Overheard by JR at Hannaford)

That Novel Was NUTS

Homeless man: Hey sister! Hey! Care to help out a crazy novel?

(Overheard in Congress street)

You Call This Art?

Distinguished-looking older woman, examining a painting: Look at all that white space! He wasted two-thirds of the painting on white space!


(Overheard by MH at the Portland Museum of Art Biennial opening)

I knew it had SOME purpose

High School Boy 1: You can write about crap, that's ok. But you don't write about your feelings!
High School Boy 2: Yeah, that's what poetry is for!

Overheard on the bus

Obviously an Animal Rights Activist

Middle aged lady in a fur coat: So THAT'S how the dog got electrocuted!

(Overheard on Exchange Street)

Wow.

Mid 20's age Girl on Cell Phone: I don't know what you did to me last night, but it worked!

(Overheard on Munjoy Hill)

Wood in the Street

Person One: There's wood in the street.

Person Two: So, it is neccessary to have wood in the street?

Person One: I'll take wood anywhere I can get it - but in the street works for me.

(overheard in the Old Port)

You Could Fry an Egg on the Sidewalk

Man: Wow! Look at that!
Other man: What?

Man: (Pointing) Some guy fried an egg on the pavement!
Other man: Holy shit!

Man: What do you think it tastes like?

(overheard in warmer months near Gilbert's Chowder House by Antonio)

Perfect Hair

Man in trench coat at 2am: Hello young lady.

Me, a man: Hello.

Man, realizing I'm a man: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were a young lady because your hair, it's so perfect.


(Overheard on Preble Street by DM)

Deering Oaks

Man: We should play frisbee at Deering Oaks this summer.

Kid: I don't like Deering Oaks anymore.

Man: Why not?

Kid: I just don't like it ever since I saw a homeless guy skinning a bird there.

(overheard on Brackett Street)