What's The Big Deal?

Young zombie girl, with deathly pale skin, long reddish braids, many wounds and bloodstains, and one arm: "Why is everybody staring at me? So I only have one arm - it's not that unusual!"






(Overheard at Zombie Kickball on the Eastern Prom in the rain)

Career Paths

Man: "She was a post hole digger. She put in fence posts for the county. This was after the money-laundering."



(Overheard on Park Street)

President Ninja

First thirteen year-old boy: "I love Obama."

Second thirteen year-old boy: "Me too, I love Obama. He's a ninja."

First thirteen year-old boy: "Yeah, he is a ninja."







(Overheard on Brighton Ave)

I think I'll let the Universe Step Up to the Plate

Cashier, to woman buying lottery tickets: "Do you keep the ones that aren't winners?"

Woman (shaking her head): "I think I'll let the universe step up and help me become a winner. Easy pick. Though if I don't win, it doesn't mean the universe doesn't love me. Just not my turn."






(overheard at Hannaford on Forest Avenue in the morning)

Sunshine Scat Mid-week

30-ish brunnette women by voice, approximately 5'8ish walking down the street, I could only see her head as her voice called out to no one for the sheer act of Singing.

A clear voice singing Scat that was so full of Joy!



Thank you! After so much rain it was a gladness to hear joy vs. complaints about the weather.





(overhead from a window on Park Street, around 8:30pm)

It's Gonna Be an Awesome Party

Macho guy on cellphone, standing in line with his shopping cart: "Yo, I got a 30-pack of Coors Light and some Dunkeroos, bro!"





(Overheard at Hannaford)

A World of Work

Bedraggled guy talking to himself on Congress Street at 10PM: "It's a premonition! Stay away from me, I have a world of work to do."





(Overheard by DM on Congress Street)

That is SO Portland

Portland voter: "I love gay marriage. And I would vote for the freaking dog catcher if she were a democrat."






(Overheard by J J-M at the June 12th special election)

Sick

Young boy watching friend play Gameboy: "Sick! Sick! Sick!"

Friend, playing Gameboy: "I am not throwing up!"

First boy: "I know! It's just awesome!"

It's a miracle!

Teenage girl to mother using Slap-Chop: "Mom, you are Vince! My mother is the Chosen One!"

Dawn's Announcement

Girl on Phone: "Well, whatever you do, it won't be as bad as the time Dawn stood up and told everyone she was a racist."






(Overheard by M P-S at Material Objects)

A Perfect Example of Why You Shouldn't Ask That Question

Woman number one: "So, are you pregnant?"

Woman number two: "No, I'm just fat."






(Overheard by MH in an office waiting room in Portland)

Indoor Cat

Catch-playing girl number one: "Your cat's name is Tigger? That is like the most unoriginal name ever. I bet that there are a million cats named Tigger."

Catch-playing girl number two: "So? He'll never know: he's an indoor cat!"






(Overheard by JR on the Western Prom)

I'm Going to Assume She's Not Talking to a Commercial Pilot

Young woman, on cell phone: "Well, if you fuck up, nobody's gonna die."






(Overheard at Hannaford)

They're everywhere

Mom to toddler: "Careful! Human beings! Human beings! You're an infant!"





(Overheard at the Old Port Festival)

RUSH...great last name when ordering take out.

Person taking a to-go order to person on the phone: "And a name please."

(Person on phone replies)

Order taker: "RUSH, ok. It'll be ready in 15 minutes."

Order taker turns to kitchen hands in order and says: "RUSH!"




(Overheard around 8ish while dining at Haggarty's)

You Just Couldn't Understand

Kid: "I love grapefruit."

Mom: "That's good."

Kid: "No, really, I love grapefruit."

Mother Load...

Late into the night or we could call it morning.
Out picking for bottles, it's trash day on the West End
Ah, he found a Mother Load
Man to friend, in truck.

"Hey take the truck up that alley
there are boxes of bottles. Lots of boxes!"

The sound of looking for bottles continues,
Others are out looking for a good find as well.



(overheard on Park from bedroom window about 3am, Wednesday)

Into Orbit

Woman, excitedly: "I've never had the iced coffee here, but I've heard great things about it!"

Barista: "Yeah, it's good."

Woman: "Will it send me into orbit?"

Barista: "Uhh..."

Woman: "I guess I'll have a cappuccino."





(Overheard at Arabica)