Are You a Good Witch? Or a Bad Witch?

Guy running up to me: "Are you an undercover cop giving out tickets, or a vigilante secretly feeding the meter?"

Me (somewhat shocked by the question): "I am just unlocking my bike."

Guy (putting quarters in meter): "Oh."





(Overheard beside a parking meter in downtown Portland by JR)

Lollygagging

Sketchy street kid: "Hey, how's it going?"

Man walking by: "It's going fine."

Street kid: "Hey, can I borrow your cell phone?"

Man: "Uh, sure." (dials for the kid, then hands over the phone)

Street kid, into cell phone: "I'm at the corner, man! Quit lollygagging!"




(Overheard by DM on Congress Street)

Half-Vegetarian

Middle School Aged Boy 1: "Today is International Hug a Vegetarian Day!"

*Everyone around gives hugs*

Middle School Aged Boy 2: :Wait, aren't you only, like, half vegetarian? Like, your mom is vegetarian, and you're dad's like, Colombian or something like that, right?"




(Overheard at King Middle School)

A Big Problem in Haiti

Hipster girl, pushing her bike while talking on her cell phone: "What if she gets kidnapped and turned into a zombie? I hear that's a big problem in Haiti. Is that what you're worried about? (pauses to listen) No, listen, this is legit!"

(Overheard on Congress Street by Margot)

Cookies

Women #1, admiring cookie cutters: "I like these, I could put them on my kitchen wall."

Women #2: "Or you could make some cookies."





(Overheard at LaRoux's Kitchen, cookie cutter wall)

I Triple Dogg Dare You

It's a Rental

Dad, to his son who is driving: "It doesn't matter if you ride the curb. It's a rental."




(Overheard on Park Street)

I only eat soft serve!

Grammar School Child Number One: "I love ice cream!"

Grammar School Child Number Two: "Me too. Especially soft serve. I love that stuff."

Number One: "So what were you guys playing?"

Number Two: "Soccer."

Number One: "Yeah, soft serve is the best."





(Overheard on Glenwood Street)

Loses All Its Nutrients?

Guy from Kansas, chopping carrots: "If we're cutting this up so finely, doesn't it lose all its nutrients?"

Woman: "HAHA! That doesn't matter!"

Guy from Kansas: "But... if you cook it, it does, right?"

Woman: "That's different!"






(Overheard in a kitchen on Brighton Avenue)

In A Can

Intoxicated individual: "Hey! You've got - that's my shirt!! Rude!"

Just a Guy: "Hey! Go do it in a can!"




(Overheard on the Maine State Pier)

High School Will Be Better, I Promise

Eager middle school girl: "Did you notice my new sweatshirt from Aéropostale?"

Snotty middle school girl: "No. I didn't."





(Overheard near King Middle School on the first day of school)

Religious Dialogue on Congress Street

Angrily shouting homeless guy number one: "The Ten Commandments were written for Moses! That's who they were written for!"

Angrily shouting homeless guy number two: "The Ten Commandments were written for the Jewish people! And no one else!"





(Overheard on Congress Street by Margot)

How To Meet Your Next Date?

Parking guy: "Hey, I've dated some of the women whose cars I've booted. I've even had to boot some of them again."





(Overheard on Sliver Street)