2-Ply

Man to woman: "What do you think you are doing? We need this -- I have a two-ply butt."

Woman to man: "Oh, sensitive New Age guy?"






(Overheard at the Forest Avenue Hannaford)

Sexiest Man

Man to woman: "Do you want People? It's got the sexiest man!"

Male cashier, indignantly, and with a strong Maine accent: "Sexiest man, hrrmph, well they didn't ask my opinion."




(Overheard by JR at the Portland Jetport)

Role Model

Fully grown, adult man on cellphone: "Holy fuck, he was so cool. I really want to be cool like that."




(Overheard at Hannaford)

The Dog

Fancy guy, to friend: "Yeah, she's gone, but I got the dog!"





(Overheard by Margot somewhere south of Portland)

Careful Where You Step

Girl to her friend: "Careful where you step. Those yellow berries smell like dog poop!"






(Overheard on Spring Street, passing Ginkgo Trees)

Discussing Gay Marriage With a Ten Year Old

Ten year-old: "Do we even know any gay people?"

Mom: "Well, what about Nellie's dads?"

Ten year-old, incredulous: "Nellie's dads are gay?!"




(Overheard by Emily in Topsham)

Virtually Overheard

Short dude with hippy-like hair: "I just want you to know, I did NOT cut you off, I was there BEFORE that dude..."




(Overheard, sort of, on Craigslist.)