Sidewalk Philosophy

Intoxicated man, to passers-by: "Know so much but be so young. Look inside yourself and find what you want!"



(Overheard on Middle Street)

All a Man Got

Man, earnestly, to twelve year-old boy sitting beside him: "All a man got in this world is his heart. His heart and his work, that's all a man got in this world."




(Overheard on Free Street)

Men and Dogs

(Seen by DM on Alder Street)

Commandeered

Odious, intoxicated man, to Otto Pizza patrons:  "I commandeered this jacket from Nazis during World War II. Do you know what commandeered means?"



(Overheard on Congress Street in front of Otto)

For Good Behavior?

Woman in a sun hat, talking loudly on her cell phone: "They let you skype in prison?!"



(Overheard by LT at the farmer's market in Longfellow Square)

Clear Meat

(Seen on Congress Street)

Fake Accents

Woman in her late 20s, on her cellphone: "I stopped talking in fake accents for you! (In German accent) Or I could talk like this, how about this, huh baby? I'm going to get you back for this! I caffeinated you and I can bring you down!"

(Overheard by AJL on Fore Street)

Self Defense

Gentleman in mid 50s, to newly homeless gentleman: "They don't consider it self defense when you cut a guy's head off. I was never taught self defense in the military, which you'd think they'd teach you. I was only taught how to kill quietly and efficiently."



(Overheard by AS at the Portland Public Library)

Have a Happy

(Seen in Deering Oaks)

Pronunciation Lesson

Guy, to girl: "El Rayo. It's 'rye-o,' not 'ray-o.' That's like saying 'melk.'"



(Overheard at Whitney Art Works)

Mixed Review

Movie theater lady #1: "I don't know, I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it either. I wouldn't give it one star, but I wouldn't give it four. I guess it's a three."

Movie theater lady #2: "Hmmm. I'm mixed. I'm just not sure."

Movie theater lady #1: "Well, that's because you're not a lesbian!"




(Overheard at the Nickelodeon after The Kids Are All Right)

Not a Death March

Father to his daughter: "You need to eat something - this is not a trivial hike. It's not a death march, but it's not trivial."


(Overheard in the parking lot at Camden Hills State Park)

Straight Outta Portland

One bike-riding high school boy to another: "That's Portland. It's like the next Compton."




(Overheard by the quiet one in South Portland)

Dollarionaires

Woman, scratching off her Great Grocery Giveaway ticket: "We're playing for a one-dollar prize."

Man: "We could become one-dollarionaires."




(Overheard by TL at the back cove Hannaford)

Portland Maine Appreciation Club

Enthusiastic young woman, entering Time Lag Records: "This place is sick! I've never been to this town before -- I thought I was just going on a regular family vacation, but this town is crazy!"




(Overheard at Time Lag Records on Congress Street)