Appreciation

One lady to another, admiring a five foot tall wooden nutcracker: "But look at the price tag..."

Second lady: "Oh, but it's such a good investment!"

(Overheard at the Christmas Tree Shops in Scarborough)

Let Us Do You

(Seen on Forest Avenue)

Does the Trick

One of four gentlemen to his associates: "Hey! My voice is back! See? I told you. All I need is a little booze and my voice comes back."

(Overheard by Captain Confrontation at the corner of India and Congress Streets)

Hunting Season

My sister, to a friend in honor of hunting season: "Here's the deal: if they shoot me, you make sure they eat me!"






(Seen on Facebook)

The Disgusting Facts of Life

One middle school girl to another: "Like seriously, does it have to have that disgusting stuff all over it?"

(Overheard by JP in the girls' bathroom after the sex ed. class where students practice putting condoms on test tubes, at a middle school north of Portland)

Get Fudged First

Kid on a BMX bike, to another kid: "It's like a classic P. Diddy party -- no booze, so you have to get really fudged before you go."



(Overheard by LJ in the West End)

Bow Tie

Intoxicated, Monchichi-haired young woman to friend: "You could have rocked the shit out of a bow tie. It's your moral obligation to wear a bow tie."




(Overheard by JL outside of Ruski's)

Do Not Fret

(Seen on Free Street by EZ)

Maybe We Should Just Go In and Find Out

Confused woman, peering at Bard Coffee: "Is it shopping?"

Man: "Hmm. Yeah...I think so?"

Woman: "It's a shopping -- oh, or it's an internet cafe?"

Man: "Oh, that could be."

Woman: "Or a coffee shop maybe?"






(Overheard by M P-S in front of Bard on Middle Street)

Fumes

(Seen at the Nickelodeon)

Voting on the Issues

Elderly woman, chatting with politicians outside of polling place: "I'll vote for anyone that can take care of the damned turkeys in my yard. I had 65 this year!"

(Overheard by JL outside the Italian Heritage Center)

Gross Gas

(Seen in Stonington)

Costume Storage

Woman in a Halloween costume which includes a short skirt and a sparkly wig: "My boobs are full of, like, my phone and my keys...."





(Overheard on Congress Street near Otto Pizza)