Drinking Buddies

Man, to two women: "You know what I like about you guys? When you get drunk, you don't turn mental. You stay normal."

(Overheard by LW near Sangillo's)

A Million Dollars

One landscaper to another (who seems to be hiding in the bushes): "I don't understand those people who say they wouldn't know what to do with a million dollars. I could spend a million dollars in one day. I mean, you could save it and spend it wisely, and live on it for a long time - but you could buy an island or a fighter jet and it would just be gone."




(Overheard by AF in the West End)

Designated Lexus Driver

Friend, to drunk girl: "I don't think you can drive right now."

Drunk girl, stumbling: "I know how to drive -- I have a Lexus!"






(Overheard by KW in Monument Square)

The Children Are Our Future

Random woman in checkout line (gesturing toward a baby): "There's the future, right there. Those kids are all going to find jobs somehow and bail out social security in fifty years."

(Overheard by JR at Whole Foods)

Anger Management

Man on cellphone at 9 am, yelling at the top of his lungs: "Stop fucking harassing me, you drunk bitch!"






(Overheard by MB next to the Nickelodeon)

Oops

Very loud person on cellphone: "You wouldn't believe it - I'm walking down Congress Street, and my pants just split down the middle!"

(Overheard by MS on Congress Street)

Yum

Kid 1: "I am not going to be able to run today."

Kid 2: "Oh, really?"

Kid 1: "Yeah. I just ate a shit..."






(Overheard by MW on Congress Street across from City Hall)

Career Advice

Woman, to friend: "I'd rather be a picker or a packer at L.L.Bean than insert a Foley catheter."





(Overheard on Austin Street)