Hype

Young man to friend: "Hurricane Irene totally did not live up to all of the hype."

Friend: "Yeah, just like Avatar."








(Overheard by JR at Arabica)

Marijuana People

Man to his wife, walking past fire dancers: "Well...they look like marijuana people to me."

(Overheard by TF in Tommy's Park)

41-Okay

Sharp teenage grandson: "My dad wants a new job. Someplace where they have a retirement plan or something."

Not quite as sharp grandfather: "Yeah, he really needs one of those 41-okay plans."






(Overhead by BS in Mercy Hospital's Emergency Department)

Thanks For The Advice

Scrawny, tattooed, toothless man pushing baby carriage, to passing woman: "Hey, I like your shades. Aviators are the way to go. You should get the mirrored kind, though, so you can see if someone's checking out your ass."







(Overheard in Deering Oaks)

...To Go To College?

Guy to group of guys: "I was the first dude in my family...to fuck a bitch in all 50 states."







(Overheard by SE outside of Joe's Smoke Shop)

Not-So-Funtown

Woman with Maine accent, to dental hygienist: "After all those rides in Orlando, I just don't think Funtown's gonna be very fun for him."







(Overheard at a pediatric dentist's office in Scarborough)

Good Idea

Old man explaining his philosophy on women: "I've had two of 'em try to hit me, and they ended up with broken arms. I just try to stay away from 'em now. I learned from my mama, and she had an IQ of 187!"








(Overheard by MB on a Portland Metro bus)

Words to Live By

Seemingly gay man to girl: "Rule number one: never grab a gay man by the flaccid penis."

Girl: "Words to live by."







(Overheard by LB at Local 188)

Okay.

Mid 20's woman on cellphone: "She's been fucked by everyone in Portland, but I'm not going to fuck her."







(Overheard by AC on Commercial Street)

Cat Piss

(Seen by DNW at Ryefield Cove on Peaks Island)

Ted the Hippie

Woman, to co-worker: "Well, you know everyone thinks of Ted as a dirty old hippie anyway. He used to drive around in that VW bus."

(Overheard at the Peaks Cafe on Peaks Island)

Other People's Children

Woman to friends: "I'd make a great nanny, but I don't like other people's children."








(Overheard by JR at Arabica)