Give That Man a Dollar

Panhandler's homemade cardboard sign: "What the Fuck?? It's Just a Buck!"





(Seen by MP outside the Hay Building)

Multitasking

Seven year-old boy: "I can walk the walk and talk the talk. But not at the same time."






(Overheard by LBE at Jet Video)

Medical Advice

Woman on cellphone: "I am pretty sure that you can drain the pus and talk on the phone at the same time."





(Overheard by JR on Chadwick Street)

Mustache Party

First guy: "Don't I know you? Were you at that mustache party the other night?"

Second guy: "Uh, yeah! Maybe!"

First guy: "The one at Matty's, right?"

Second guy: "Oh, no. I wasn't at that one."






(Overheard by MR at Otto)

Time Travel

Kid Number One, to Kid Number Two, playing inside a steampunk "time machine": "It's my turn. You've been in there for years."




(Overheard by JR at  the Victoria's Wonderama  show at Victoria Mansion)

Don't.

Young woman, smoking and yelling into cell phone: "Shit fucking Christ! Don't masturbate on a photo of me, then take a picture of it, and then text the picture to me!"





(Overheard by MH on Portland Street)

Street Poetry

Heavy Metal Rick,* to passerby: "You could die and be reborn with a bag of Santa Claus money and still not make it."





(Overheard by DM on Pine Street)

*the guy who plays an electric guitar while riding his bike.

Like a Dog

Woman on cell phone: "I know, I couldn't believe it when I heard it. I had to shake my head like a dog shakes its ears."





(Overheard at Target in South Portland)