Bug Light

Teacher: "That's Bug Light out there!"

Third grader: "That's what my dad drinks, Bud Lite!"





(Overheard by SB at the Portland Observatory)

Such a Hypocrite

Drunk girl: "Are you serious? You're wearing cutoffs and you don't even smoke pot. That makes you a hypocrite."




(Overheard by JC while walking up Munjoy Hill)

Oh, That Charlotte

Friend One: "Hey, did you see Charlotte?"

Friend Two: "Charlotte? The last time I saw her, she was a zombie at Battery Steele!"

Friend One: "Yeah, she still is."




(Overheard at Space Gallery)

Management 101

Woman to friend: "Delegate, delegate, delegate, and take credit."





(Overheard at Crema by JR)

Spirits

Young, stylish, blonde woman: "Some people have spirit animals. I have a spirit starch and it's a potato."





(Overheard by AT at Victoria Mansion)

Oh.

Passerby, to woman with dog: "He's cute, what breed is he?"

Drunk woman with dog: "He's dying of kidney cancer."





(Overheard by DS in Bangor)

Superpower

Goodwill employee to friend, discussing a possible book plot: "That's it. I sneeze, the dragon dies."





(Overheard by EM at the South Portland Goodwill)

The Thirteenth Step

Slightly disheveled woman, to friends: "I'm in the program, so I always need something in my hand. That's why I always have a Poland Spring water. But really, Dasani's my favorite."





(Overheard in Monument Square)