A Select Clientele

Woman to Male Friend: "I want it to be the kind of place that attracts artists and musicians, not riffraff."




(Overheard by JR at Arabica)

Sacrifice for Savings

Woman (pointing to a box of macaroni and cheese): "I buy these at Walmart."

Second Woman: "Are they a good deal?"

Woman: "I never eat them, so they are a great deal for me."





(Overheard by JR at the USM campus store)

Don't We All?

Scruffy-looking older guy, to pal: "I wonder what cavity searches are like..."




(Overheard by HC at the corner of Franklin and Commercial Street)

Meteorology Dreams

Guy, to dining companions: "I love weather research--it's where my heart is."




(Overheard by WH at Applebee's in Portland)

The Truth

Girl in line, to sales clerk: "Let me tell you thumthing. If thumone tellth you that it doethn't hurt to get your tongue pierthed, don't believe them--it thure doeth hurt!"




(Overheard by KC at the CVS on Congress Street)

The Dating Game

Young man on cell phone: "Yeah, she's a functioning drug addict. Unlike my last girlfriend, who was just an asshole."




(Overheard by BS outside the Portland Public Library)

Between Popes

One old salty dog to another: "Fish n' chips? Fish n'chips? Why you gettin' fish n' chips instead of chili?"

Second salty dog: "It's Friday. Gotta eat fish on Friday."

First salty dog: "No you don't! Ain't no pope: you can eat chili!"





(Overheard by Mindy at Three Dollar Deweys)