Hugging the City Councillor

Man to friends: "I had the weirdest dream: I saw Jill Duson, and I ran up to her and gave her a huge hug and started sobbing and sobbing."



(Overheard on Brighton Avenue)

Priorities

Person to companion: "People who dress their dogs? I don't even have time to dress myself."




(Overheard by MBF at Maelily Ryleigh's)

Same.

Woman to co-workers: "I would definitely rather watch porn than go to Kennebunk."




(Overheard in the office at SPACE Gallery)

He'd Be Hirsute

First grader to teacher: "What if a man had a beard so long it went all the way to New Jersey?"




(Overheard by ARA at an elementary school north of Portland)

Videoport Throw Back

First Man in porn nook: "'Girls Gone Wild: My Big Breakfast'…?"

Second Man in porn nook: "That says 'BREASTS.' 'My Big BREASTS.'"

First Man: "Oh. I thought it said 'breakfast.'"




(Overheard years ago by JL at Videoport)

Some Days It Sure Feels Like It

First grader to teacher: "Are you going to teach until you die?"






(Overheard by ARA at an elementary school north of Portland)

Capitalism in a Nutshell

One bro to another: "That's capitalism in a nutshell, bro. That's capitalism in a nutshell, bro. That's capitalism in a nutshell, bro."




(Overheard by AS on Congress Street near Empire)

Dog People

Woman (watching dogs play): "Sometimes she chases every dog she sees, and sometimes she's not interested in playing at all."

Man: "Yeah, my dog wants to meet every dog he sees, but he really only ever plays with like a third of them. Mostly he just sniffs and moves on."

Woman:"I guess we shouldn't underestimate their intelligence. I don't want to talk to most of the people I meet."

Man: "Me too."

(silence)




(Overheard by JR at Willard Beach)

The Sound of Summer

Guy, swirling ice cubes in iced coffee, to friend: "Hey, I'm a Foley artist! That's the sound of summer!"

Back to the Future

One tourist to another: "I love Portland! People riding bikes, sitting on benches, eating ice cream... It's just like the 1950s!"



(Overheard by SH on Moulton Street)

A Regular Shithole

Person #1 to Person #2: "Portland? It's so busy. And it used to be nothing! It used to be a regular shithole."





(Overheard by AS near The Sock Shack on Congress Street)

The Real Portland

Tourist 1 to Tourist 2, crossing Temple Street toward Monument Square: "Now we're in the real Portland. Not boutique-y Portland."




(Overheard by SH near Monument Square)

The Answer To This Question Is Always Yes

Person 1 to Person 2, gesturing toward their pooping dog: "Do you think I need to pick that up?"

Person 2: "Nah."

(Overheard by J and C outside Quarry Run Dog Park)

My Wish

(Seen by MK on Ocean Avenue)

Protest Fatigue

Locally famous school librarian, to friend: "Just got off work, and now I'm going to another goddamned demonstration."




(Overheard on Congress Street before the Rally Against the Muslim Immigration Ban)