Fingers crossed

Bartender, watching server load a huge number of drinks on a tray: "You...taking all of those?"

Server: "I'm taking everything. Hopefully, what happened last time won't happen again."

(Overheard by MW at Yosaku)

Who, me?

Man answering a phone call on speaker while his car is stopped at a light and his window is rolled down, cheerfully: "Hi there!"

Voice on phone: "Fucking asshole!"

Man: "Who, me?"

(Overheard by JTW on Cumberland Avenue)

Get the waffle fries

Server, to outdoor diner: "Do you want regular fries with that? Or waffle fries?"

Diner: "Regular, I guess."

Server: "Hmm."

Diner: "Oh, should I get waffle fries instead?"

Server: "Well. We are in Portland."

(Overheard by AW at Mellen Street Market)

Portlandia Redux

Young woman behind the hardware store counter, to man wearing Sleater-Kinney t-shirt: "Isn't that the band Carrie Brownstein is in?"

Man: "Yes, it is."

Young woman: "They've been around since the nineties, right?"

Other shopper: "Yes, the nineties are big."

Young woman: "I know. I see kids wearing Friends shirts. I guess the dream of the nineties is alive in Portland."

(Overheard by JR at Maine Hardware)