Dinosaur Cloning 101

Student #1: "My professor looks just like the professor from Jurassic Park, same glasses and everything. He even talks like him."

Student #2: "That must be such a cool class!"






(Overheard by JR at USM)

Difficult Questions

Eight year-old, to parents: "So, what is sex?"

Dad: "Uh...well..."

Eight year-old: "And also, what are cargo pants?"






(Overheard by MR in Yarmouth)

What A Catch

Blond martini-sipping woman: "Wow, the chef used to be hot...but isn't he hotter now that his wife is pregnant?"

Brunette martini-sipping woman: "I think it's the beard. But yes, hot then, hot now. I need another martini. Was that last one strong?! He's hot and he sells a strong martini. What a catch!"




(Overheard by Delilah at Evangeline)

Personal Space

Teacher, to students: "I hear that in Europe, they stand so close to people -- they stand like this!" (Demonstrates.) "We are not in Europe, people. And we just had a terrorist attack a couple of weeks ago. So give people their personal space."





(Overheard by Margot at a Portland High School)

Rollback

Thirty-something woman: "I'm getting a coffin from Walmart. Rollback prices what!"






(Overheard by MB at a potluck in the West End)

Bad Trip

Late 50ish patron to barista: "You're making that decaf, right? I mean, caffeine would be like a bad trip. And I've never had a bad trip!"





(Overheard at Coffee By Design)

Snow in May

Man to friend: "You think this is snow? Wait til April or May! Now that's snow!"






(Overheard on Spring Street)

Giggles

Red Cross babysitting instructor: "...to avoid getting burns on the genitals."

Babysitting student: "Teacher, what's genitals?"

Instructor, awkwardly: "Well, they're, uh, your sexually private areas."

(Babysitting students giggle hysterically.)




(Overheard by JA at a Red Cross babysitting class)

Cold Heart

Shopper: "It's cold out there!"

Cashier: "Yeah...it's still about 55 degrees warmer than my wife's heart...also 55 degrees warmer than my body if she ever hears that shit..."



(Overheard by MB at Shaw's on outer Congress Street)