I'm Just Sayin'

Man, examining soup can, to imaginary companion: Yes, but this one has 220 mg of sodium per serving!

Man, after appearing to listen to imaginary companion's response: Well, I'm just sayin'!



(Overheard at Hannaford)

You can't kill the rooster.

Man on cell phone: Hi Dave, this is 'The Hammer'...

Overheard outside Casco Bay Books

Maybe Our Relationship's Not THAT Interesting

Woman, to friends: Our relationship could be a book.

Woman, reconsidering: Or an article. In a relationship magazine.


(Overheard at the Udder Place)

French teacher: Voila, les devoirs.
Teen girl: Day-vwah? Ohmagod, that's so cool! Day-VWAH!
French teacher writes the homework on the board, titled, "devoirs."
Teen girl: What's dee-vores?
French teacher: Devoirs!
Teen girl: OHMAGOD! THAT'S day-vwah?

Vegan Cookies

First Guy (pointing to cookies): Hey, what's a "vegan cookie"?
Second Guy: That means it doesn't have any ingredients.


(Overheard at Casco Bay Books)

Excuse my spelling.

Tween Girl 1: He's going to get a PhD. He's mad smart.
Tween Girl 2: Aren't PhDs what you need to be a shrink?
Tween Girl 1: Yeah, or a paleantologist.


Overheard near Waynflete.

North Carolina

Crazy Man on Congress Street (in a threatening manner): It's not like you have to tear your face off to North Carolina!

(Overheard by David Meiklejohn)

Swimming Instructor: Ok, everybody, let's go over names.
Little Girl 1: Caitlin.
Swimming Intructor: Hailey?
Little Girl 1: Caitlin.
Swimming Intructor: Caitlin.
Little Girl 2: Eden.
Swimming Instructor: Hailey?
Little Girl 2: Eden.
Swimming Instructor: Eden.
Little Girl 3: Hannah.
Swimming Instructor: Hailey?
Little Girl 3: Hannah.
Swimming Instructor: Hannah. Is Hailey even a real name?

Denmark, Maine?

Young woman, to boyfriend: So just go on over to Denmark and find yourself Wyland St!
Boyfriend: Ok.

Good plan

Girl: These ones don't hurt as much when you get hit by them.
Mom: These whats?
Girl: Tennis balls. This one might break your nose, but these ones can TOTALLY hit you straight on, and it will barely hurt.
Mom: Maybe you shouldn't put your face in front of them, then.


Overheard at Sports Authority

It's really worth more

Older Man in Italia shirt: ...because I'm Italian, that's why. Now, how much do I owe you?
Cashier woman: A million dollars. Well, a hundred thousand because you're Italian.
Older Man in Italia shirt: Fair enough.


Overheard at Amato's

The Happiest Season of All

Woman in twenties: ...so, and it was Christmas Eve, and it bit me, and I was swinging it back and forth when it just died! And I never got another hamster.

(Overheard at Scarborough Beach)

A condradiction, perhaps?

Man: I am Josef Stalin, the Pope, and God, all in one.
Teen girl: Yur pope-name should be Eular. Then you'd be Pope-Eular.
Man: I am the most pope-eular.

I'm telling you, I didn't think so

Teen Boy: I'm telling you, I did NOT give birth.

Overheard at South Portland tennis courts.

Papaya?

Non-latina non-Spanish speaking teenage girl: I can't read anything on this bottle! God, I wish it was in English. What is this anyway? Oh, a papayera. That's the blood fruit right?
Spanish speaking teenage girl: What? Papayera?
Non-latina non-Spanish speaking teenage girl: Papayaya? Papapapayah?

He'll do that for a while.

Comrade Rafa's Dad: What's the score?
Gas Station Clerk: Don't know. Here, I'll turn it up.
Comrade Rafa's Dad: They were losing last time I checked.
Gas Station Clerk: Yeah, but they're the Sox! They can turn it around. Oh, here's Kevin Youkilis.
Comrade Rafa's Dad: Youk, Youk, Youk!!!
Comrade Rafa: I'm going.
Comrade Rafa's Dad: Youk, Youk, Youk!


Overheard/Spoken at Blue Canoe on Commercial St.

So many types of killing.

Woman: Was he a serial killer or a mass killer?
Man: Mass killers kill a bunch of people they know. Serial killers just kill a bunch of random people in random places.
Woman: Well, which was it?
Man: Did he know them? Cause that changes it.
Woman: Maybe he was a spree killer.
Man: Which one's that?
Woman: About halfway between.


Overheard at Videoport

But how many name their animals after candy?

Somewhat Crazy man with dog walks out of bathroom.
Somewhat Crazy Man: She's a service dog! She can go anywhere.
Woman: I see.
Somewhat Crazy Man: Anywhere. Her name is Snickers. Just like the candy.
Woman. Oh.
Somwhat Crazy Man: Just like it!
Man: You get all kinds in the men's room.

Overheard at the Nickelodeon Theatre

More Delicious

Wild Oats Manager (gesturing to meat case): ...and free range animals are happier animals. And happy animals are healthier animals. And healthy animals are more delicious!

Brownie Troop: Yay!


(Overheard in the meat department in Wild Oats)

About to Dump

Woman talking to sky: OHHHHH, looks like it's about to DUMP!

(Overheard in parking lot of Wild Oats.)

Bad Ass

Punk girl #1: She's, like, a bad ass, but she's really pretty!

Punk girl #2: I know, I saw her, and I was like, "Damn!"

Punk girl #1: That's like, totally how I want to be percieved by people.


(Overheard in the Old Port.)

Skinny Meg

Woman #1: Well, you are small.

Woman #2: But I'm not like skinny Meg!

(Overheard by Artemis at Bubblemaineia)

Tall Means Power

Woman #1: I always feel tall in shoes; it's a psychological thing.

Woman #2: That's okay. Tall means power.

(Overheard by Artemis in Kohl's, in South Portland)

The Fuck Song

Teenage girl: Oh, do we have the Fuck Song? Or does Grandma still have it?

(Overheard in a car)

Love in the Quick Check-Out

Man: That turns me on.
Woman: Oh, does it? (While rubbing a box containing a whole rotisserie chicken against Man's chest.)

(Overheard at Westbrook Shaw's supermaket)

Theivery!

Cool Dude: And then he was all like "Gimme a sip of your drink."
Hip Chick: What did you say?
Cool Dude: I was like, "No way man, I've fallen for that way too many times before."
Hip Chick: Good, like, assertiveness.

They're Everywhere

Guy: Wait, so where are they?
Girl: They live, like, on the skin of apples.
Guy: Whoa.

Overheard on Emery St. Sunday afternoon

546 Years Young

Teacher: I actually went to visit Ponce de Leon's house in Puerto Rico.
8th grader: Oh, he's still alive? Oh...

(Overheard at King Middle School)

Ain't That the Truth?

Loud Lady: Sometimes, when you're very angry, it's hard to say the word "defecation."

(Overheard at Panera in Westbrook)

Middle School Communist

8th grader 1: Why do you hate Communists?
Communist 8th grader: I am a Communist.
Long pause
8th grader 1: So why do you hate them?
Communist 8th grader: I don't.
8th grader 1: Oh.
Long pause
8th grader 1: Wait, so like, what is Communism?

(Overheard at King Middle School)